To everyone wondering if they will ever move on.
Yes, you will.
It will take you some time. By ‘some time’ I mean a long time.
It won’t be easy. In fact, it will probably be the hardest thing you’ll have to go through.
Moving on is messy. It is either being too happy or too sad at 3am. It is laughing till your stomach aches, or crying till there are no more tears to be cried and you just feel dead inside.
Moving on is the shaking of your hands and the breaking of your voice when you realise that there will never be a them and you again.
Moving on is wondering what you did wrong and why you just weren’t good enough for them.
Moving on also means eating less and drinking more alcohol than you should.
It also means stopping everything that you’re doing and thinking about them. Actually, you will think about them a lot. You will see their favourite restaurant and you will think of them. You will hear their favourite song and you will think of them. You will look at your coffee and the shade of brown will resemble the colour of their eyes. At one point they will be all you think about. It starts the moment you wake up and never ends because even in your dreams they will be haunting you.
But one day you will wake up and you will feel okay. The next day you will feel more than just okay, you will be fine. You will think of them still, yes. But it’s going to be a different kind of thinking. It will be a “wherever they are, I hope that they are fine and happy” kind of thinking. You will have moved on. You will have survived this hell. You will slowly but surely forget them more and more each day, and forgetting will never have felt that sweet. But you have to let yourself hurt before you can heal, remember.
To everyone wondering if they will ever move on, you will.
2. I know you like to save people, I know. But a burning house cannot keep anyone it harbors safe. In the end, all that will be left is the remnants of “you tried”. If they try to set fire to your foundations, kick them out. They will be better off, anyway.
3. A lost cause is only that because no one has tried hard enough to find it, not because it is not worth saving. Remember that if you ever become one.
4. That feeling of emptiness you have really is temporary. I know you know it like the back of your hand, but one day it will be a stranger that you will barely recognize if it ever says hello again.
5. Anne with an ‘e’ taught you that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet. But, when tomorrow comes, and mistakes are everywhere, it’s important to remember that you are not the only one making them.
6. They say that if it won’t matter in a year, don’t worry about it. You have felt guilty and overemotional so many times for disobeying that rule. Don’t. You are just living in the present and feeling all of it.
7. Patience. Something will come eventually, even if it’s not what you asked for. Patience.
8. Stand up for those who laid down when you needed someone the most. Teach them kindness – someone else may reap the benefits, and life isn’t always about you. Remember that no one ever taught them to be kind, and they must have felt just as lonely as you.
9. Life is not always what you make of it. Sometimes others change it for the worse, or the better, but life is how you live it.
10. There is an endless seam of strength in you that will last your entire lifetime. The deeper you must dig, the more it will hurt, and the stronger you will be."
you tell me i am too much (always a lot to handle) and i laugh like breaking waves, like shattering glass, like crumbling cities. i am only too much for you because you cannot stand freedom: when i ride with car windows down, when i laugh too loud in the middle of a quiet room, when i am overdressed and i don’t give a damn how people look at me (it is mostly envy anyways). you are an iron bar and i am the ivy around it: bending, growing, overtaking you. you want to make me stone but i am too light to keep a hold of and trying to strangle conformity into me is killing you. you just can’t stand the wind in your hair.
- i am too much because you are too little // abby, day 329 // prompt for anon
I kept all the pictures and saved all the messages, and that’s all I have. They’re all I have to remind me that it was real, our love was real.
And that’s what I repeat to myself when things get really bad,
It was real
It was real
We were real.